“Spiritual materialism is rampant & a life filled with spirit is a rarity. I don’t care how many crystals you have, how vegan your food is, or whether your Venus is in Jupiter since the last time you blamed your problems on the moon. If the way we carry and express ourselves condemns others while lifting ourselves, then we’re as off-target as the people we’re condemning. I drink with the thinkers and smoke with the preachers & I’ve never met a good man that believed he has the answers. Let your personality be your greatest work of art, and let your actions weave a thread of unity. Laugh at the voice(s) in your head, befriend your ego before you listen to that bullshit that tells you to destroy it. That’s cheap spirituality — even attempting to get rid of ego means you want to avoid this and move towards that — creating more of the same inner conflict you’re trying to avoid. Inner silence and enviable peace doesn’t come from the avoidance of life as it is, It comes from moving as deeply into life as you can. The only way out is in & the only way beyond is through.” -unknown

In the past, when male white supremacy reigned over all else and it was normal to have it be so, we all existed in an environment fit for one kind of person while all others were made to feel uncomfortable. In the past few decades, and even most, in just the last few years, people off all different races, ethnicities, religions, and sexual orientation began to become “normalized,” as in more accepted by mainstream society. This makes control obsessed the cis gender white people, especially many white men, feel like their “perfect” America is slipping away.

While coming up to an individual in person to express your hatred of them may be daunting for some, expressing one’s bigoted ignorant self online has given such chauvinists the “safety” needed for them to rear their ugly heads. The result of this is hate being spread online. This is found on social media, online gaming platforms, online forums, and anything else that a message can be shared on. “Five out of six adults (83%) ages 18-45 experienced harassment in online multiplayer games—representing over 80 million adult gamers,” (Anti-Defamation League).

The hate most often comes from men but is not limited to them. Women are not innocent of spreading hate on other people, especially to other women. When there is an entire world separating two people, things get said that may have otherwise remained in the shadows. The benefit to this is that you get to really see people’s true colors, like the men who “fantasize about me getting raped,” (Nhi Le, TEDx Talks). The downside to this is that people feel safe to be horrible to another human being just because the world of the internet separates them from their victim. 

I frequently hear from my fiancé about people on the online games telling others to go kill themselves and calling people the F word and the N word with the hard R. These are games that bring him relaxation and enjoyment but when such language and behavior is brought into the equation, it understandably ruins this comforting activity for him. These people are most often children. If they are already speaking so far beyond what is out of line, it puts fear in me to think of how those behaviors will progress into adulthood. People have so much repressed emotions that when it finally comes how it can be vile. 

The research done on this abhorrent behavior backs up these upsetting facts with numbers. Women, LGTBQ+, other races besides white, and other religions besides Christianity are most often targeted. “53% of LGBTQ+ respondents attributed the harassment to their sexual orientation,” “[W]omen were more than twice as likely to report ever experiencing sexual harassment online as men were,” (Anti-Defamation League). The repeated mistreatment of others from the male species, most often white, is so prevalent that it shapes the entire foundation of western culture. 

People who are a different race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, and religion have to fight to be normalized and accepted so that we can just exist in a world comfortably that was not made for us. Social media and other online platforms are such a big part of peoples lives and allow us to become more connected to the people around us and people across the world. It can help with finding community and a sense of self. When it goes from being a place of exploration and comfort to a place of fear, anxiety and hatred, we are failing as a species to evolve into something more compassionate and aware. Hate most often comes from somewhere, people are not born with it. If hate is in you, regardless of why it’s there, it is your responsibility to unlearn such poisonous and destructive traits so that you can act out of love and awareness. 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiNvcn_193_AhWrITQIHY3iB54QFnoECDMQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.com%2Fnews%2Ftechnology-31749753&usg=AOvVaw3xSqYeWpKF4gihWmaGydy1&opi=89978449

I admit that I do not think about the consolidation of media ownership as much as I probably should, simply because I myself do not watch cable news. That being said, I know that many people in this country do consume cable news and are greatly affected by it in terms of the things they believe. It concerns me to think that people are watching news segments like the “Terrorism Alert Desk” and Mark Hyman Holman, and potentially taking any of it seriously. 

If an individual is not taught to be aware of the underlying factors that come into play with media and are not adept in media literacy there is a great concern that their minds will be toyed with, without them even knowing. According to Pew Research, a slightly higher percentage of adults in the United States trust local news organizations more than national ones. Journalists are bestowed with the responsibility of providing sound information to the millions of consumers that get watch, read, and listen to them. 

People form opinions and morals based on this information delivered by journalists, and it is a great injustice to use one’s reporting power in a way that spreads disinformation. In a perfect world, all media would be independent and as unbiased as possible. I think that this ideal should be fought for regardless of the fact that we live in a society that goes against this form of media on a systemic level. Separate entities with personal intentions and goals should have no say in the fluctuation of news topics. People should not have to fight to avoid being fed misleading and mendacious information on a daily basis. 

“You just take a look around the world and you’ll find that nearly all mass media is owned and controlled by a handful of conservative capitalists. We must devise and implement alternative methods of distributing our news, our information, our ideas,” Anti-Flag said. The principle of strength in numbers in this instance illudes to the fact that if every journalist being coerced into regurgitating “must-run” segments and “cheap scaremongering or advancing a political agenda,” Steve Schirripa said, chose to stop in unison and no journalist rose up to take their disgraceful place, the corporate media conglomerates would have no choice but to back down. 

Many may think that local media means they are escaping the grip of national corporate media. It is incredibly important to “find out who owns your local stations and bear that and mind when you watch,” John Oliver said. This is why having the understanding that many of such local news organizations are all owned by a few conglomerates such as Sinclair Broadcast Group, Nexstar Media Group, and more, is essential to digesting the media one is receiving through such an outlet in a literate way. 

https://www.makeuseof.com/top-unbiased-news-sources/

List of Independent Media

Photo caption: Moments that have happened in the last few weeks that I never want to forget about, so I photographed them.

The power of photos is immense. While the written word, or better yet the spoken word can absolutely compel people for the greater good if used with integrity and incite very strong emotions, photography surpasses the words’ ability to affect people’s thoughts and emotions in a tremendous way. Photographs have changed the course of wars, civil rights movements, and environmental crises, and told stories that are difficult to explain with words alone. 

A photo can take you back to a moment and remind you of how it felt, smelled, and visually impacted you to be there. Susan Sontag pointedly said that “[P]hotographed images do not seem to be statements about the world so much as pieces of it, miniatures of reality that anyone can make or acquire.” A photo can make a person live on after they pass away in a way that connects a loved one to them so deeply. 

Photography can remind a person of their past passions, dreams, and fears. The way that it can expedite social change speaks to its ability to connect people based on an understanding of perceived reality. Someone in one corner of the world may never see the lands and conditions of another in a literal sense, but if they can gain access to a photo of the scene, place, or people, they may be able to understand the functions and traditions of a faraway society or culture, and by doing so, find a sense of empathy and connection to them. 

I feel it is the responsibility of humans to utilize and stretch one’s mindset in a way that promotes growth and to also remain aware that there is much to learn. Those who think in unusual and inspired ways are oftentimes criticized, as Plato’s allegory of the cave points out. This understanding, while very intriguing, does raise the point that to be sure of something means that the mind is not growing, but rather, absolute. 

“As we go throughout our lives, can we be confident in the things we think we know?” Gendler, TED-Ed lesson creator said. Since the “truth is constantly changing, the answer is no. With that understanding, the solution is clear. One cannot ever be entirely sure of anything, and must always maintain a healthy amount of doubt, so that one may be unsurprised and also unwaveringly curious. A wonderous way to carry oneself is in a manner that incites an individual to let their beliefs retain the necessary amount of flexibility so that they do not get stuck in habits that are counterproductive and outdated as knowledge progresses. 

Most individuals, besides a lucky few, have an immense number of responsibilities that remain unwavering day in and day out. When there is a moment to slip away to share a bite to eat with a loved one, to watch a film, to go dancing or to hike, or so much more that there is never enough time for, a photograph can make that moment last forever and “…we become our own documentarians and archivists in order to impose meaning on daily life, to show that we are honoring moments with the seriousness we are told they are supposed to possess and to preserve that honor for posterity,” Billy Perrigo, reporter for The New Yorker, said.

Photo captions: Front top to bottom left to right: In the first photo I am 7 years old. My hair had never been dyed and was a medium brown until I hit puberty and it got much darker. My hair is bleached in the next two images and I am age 14 and 15, I guess I didn’t care that my hair was yellow I just wanted to fit in. In the next two, I am 14 and my hair is its natural color. During that time I was attempting to be more open about my culture and brought up to my friends at my mostly white middle school that I was Cuban to which someone jokingly called me a wetback, so I bleached my hair again. In the middle right photo, I am 18 and had just begun to completely be myself again and my natural brown curly hair is fully grown out. The next two photos are from this last week and depict a fully grown woman who knows and loves her mixed-race self.

The part that Photoshop has played in regard to the misrepresented portrayal of women across the globe has affected many women and girls, including myself. These photoshopped images first reached my eyes when I was a young girl before I had the ability or resources to understand the level of misrepresentation they were causing. I genuinely thought that some women looked like that, perfectly sculpted and proportioned features from head to toe, not a single blemish, and I criticized myself for not having those unrealistic attributes. In the past, and perhaps sometimes in the present although it has lessened, photoshop was used to also lighten the skin of women of color. That affected the way I looked at myself and my family members who have naturally brown skin. 

All of this self-hatred for not looking like the idealized naturally pencil-thin white woman that Photoshop pushed into mainstream media happened, for me, from age 6 or 7 until I was 16 or 17. That is a decade of wishing I was something that I am not because of the beauty standards that were being pushed in mainstream media, supplemented by Photoshop. It has been found that “photo retouching is indeed having an effect on the body images of young girls, and the research backs them up,” (TV Criticism, 2014). It brings me great sadness to say I did what I could to pass as one of those women. I died my hair blonde, I ate less than I needed to, and I didn’t mention my cultures to people who weren’t also from an ethnic background because I was afraid of experiencing racism as I had in the past when I was open about my ethnicities with white people. This idealization of a certain kind of beauty that Photoshop contributed to is the result of women feeling afraid to be themselves due to Eurocentric beauty standards. On the inside I was proud of my cultures but my fear prevented me from showing it on the outside unless I was around other ethnic people. 

In South Park’s “The Hobbit,” the fourth-grade girls of South Park Elementary do everything they can to be accepted by using Photoshop to change their images. Their eyes are made to be larger, their nose smaller, their breasts bigger, their waste smaller, their behinds bigger, and their thighs smaller. It is the age-old recipe for the look you needed in this society to be considered beautiful. 

In the past, women who would advocate for more inclusive beauty standards were criticized as “merely a less popular girl who is lashing out at those who are prettier than her,” (TV Criticism, 2014), rather than consideration being taken that there is more than one kind of “beautiful.” In the present day, there is a much wider range of what is seen as beauty, and women who are more curvaceous and ethnic are being sexualized just like skinny white women. I did not grow up with much culture from my elders beyond the understanding of where my family was from and making some of our traditional dishes at home unless we were in Miami. This happened because when they moved to this country in the 60s, they were shunned by their community when they did not conform to the cultural standards of the United States, and my grandmother was beaten in school when she spoke Spanish or acted in ways that weren’t white conforming. She also lightened her hair and stayed out of the sun in her youth due to this kind of discrimination. 

I have heard from many others that I’ve connected with in my adult life, whose family immigrated to the United States, and did their best to assimilate to this culture, rather than hold on to the culture of their mother countries without fear of rejection from their work and communities. That is a scary thing to do when you did everything you could to get here to find a better life for your family without war and hunger. It is such a complicated thing with such complicated emotions, and I am still unpacking the shame I feel from trying to conform to the beauty standards in this country that were aided by Photoshop The effects that are capable through Photoshop have been further modernized into Instagram filters. They make your face instantly look like an airbrushed and reshaped version of yourself instantly. I struggled with these up into my early twenties and wrote something about them when I stopped that I will share.

“I want to talk about Instagram filters. Some of you have long since been able to love each and every bit of yourself wholly, which is great, but this post isn’t for you. 

Instagram filters in stories initially got to me, because I was able to see myself as if I’d got all the surgical procedures to “correct” my face, for the first time. I dislike doing my makeup very much and the way it feels on the face, this was much easier! It was not a huge change, but enough to cause feelings of dissatisfaction within myself seeing my bare, natural, face. 

I am not talking about the ones that give you foundation or change the colors, but the ones that slim your face, eyes get bigger, nose gets smaller, lips get bigger, instant eyelash extensions. We all know the ones I’m talking about. I’d use them and say wow I look so “perfect!” But so does everyone who uses them, no matter what you actually look like, and what the fuck is perfect. Now, I am not hating on anyone. I myself used them all the time for about a year, and over that year, I increasingly struggled with confidence. 

Stopping use of them has been one of the things that has helped a lot with rediscovering love for myself and the beauty that I always have had. Shoutout to the almost a thousand people (all men) who unfollowed me once I stopped tryna rock like I was an influencer, it’s just not me. 

Growing up in a country with heavy Eurocentric beauty standards got to some of us more than others growing up. When almost every woman represented until recently was skinny and white white, and I am neither, bet your ass the only things Iv ever been bullied for was my ethnicities. Not white enough to relate to the white kids, not middle eastern enough, not Latin enough to feel completely secure in that either, though my Latin brothers and sisters always got me.

Living in a time now where beauty standards have changed, and more reflect how I naturally look, having these filters that accentuated these features was exciting and enticing. But I found I was doing a disservice to myself as the difference of a more surgical appearance wore more on me as time went by. 

Big up to my ancestors in Cuba, the Middle East, and Eastern and Northern Europe but fuck the Israeli government. I am an amazing person, and I give myself credit for that, but the love I showed myself was not reflecting my value of my personality. The question is, is “x” going to matter on your deathbed? No? ok, move on. Keep your growth mindset functional and just be,” (Ruby Cayenne, 2022).

Reflecting back on what I wrote at that time, I am proud of myself. I’ve always had a hard time loving myself in a physical way and could never see the beauty I’ve always had. It took twenty-two years to get there, and I can say that the misuse of Photoshop absolutely contributed to that struggle. I still get nervous talking about this stuff because of my own insecurities but I know better than to base my decisions on those insecurities now. 

Experts like Dr. Nicole Hawkins say that “pictures like these are the media’s perfect lie. They could change their nose they could change their eyes they could change their teeth they can change the length of their hair they can change anything they want with that (photoshop)…so the majority of teenage girls have no idea that every image they’re seen is manipulated.” I wish I understood how manipulated these images were when I was a young girl, and maybe I would not have had so much self-hatred and longing to look like the beauty standard that was pushed by the same society that harmed and rejected my elders and ancestors. Luckily, I know better now. 

That being said, this is still hard for me to verbalize, as I struggle with sharing my insecurities.